Chivalry: defined by the dictionary as courtesy shown toward women. A practice that many would say is less and less common in American society. I believe this is entirely true, henceforth I offer this article in the hope that at least some who truly desire understand will be spoken to by the insights of this article. For a goodly number of years, from the depths of my heart I have prayed to God our savior petitioning Him for an out pouring of the Holy Spirit, with one of the manifestations of His presence being that there will be a noted, yes, even a fantastically noticed turning of our America people to what the Bible refers to as the wisdom of the wise. What is the wisdom of the wise? Simply, the wisdom to conduct one's self in accordance with God's commandments. Only those that are exercised in this wisdom can know the good of it. An example of the proof of this wisdom is that women who practice it are shown chivalry. That is the reason for the statement of Jesus: Wisdom is justified by her children. (Matthew 11:19) Obedience to God's wisdom brings positive results.
Before I begin into the meat of this message I will endeavor to first draw a picture so that you, the reader, can be aided to better comprehend the workings of God. God is infinitely bigger and higher then what we are. Even the Apostle Paul with the extreme revelations given to him described the Lord in Romans 11:33 in this manner: O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments, and His ways past finding out. For who hath known the mind of the Lord? Or who hath been His counselor? Or who hath first given to Him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again? For of Him, and through Him, and to Him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen Yahweh, the great Eternal One sits in heaven, we as men are on earth. Perhaps we could be described before Him as what an insect is before us. Very small, yet possessing life and certain understanding. Oh yes, men are exceedingly greater then insects, but before God in heaven we are very very small, very very weak, and very very foolish. Therefore, it is only by the obedience of His commandments that we can be brought by the Holy Spirit into His wisdom, and realize the benefits of His salvation. Now, please listen very carefully. In regards to His laws, we are very much like little children before their parents who do not understand the need to obey their parents. Children do not understand the depth of reasoning that a parent has when a parent tells them to do, or not to do, any certain thing. It is upon obedience to God's laws that our understanding is open to perceive the reasoning for the commandment, the particular benefits of obedience.
Varied Commandments of God and Reasoning Behind Them
The chief reason for the lack of chivalry in America today is the lack of the practice of godly manhood, and womanhood, and the whole reason for the lack of godly man and womanhood in America today is ignorance and rejection of God's commandments, particularly in respect to the issues of headship that exists in the man-woman relationship. In order for chivalry to work among men and women we must learn to maximize manhood, and maximized womanhood, but this is only possible by obedience to the Holy Scriptures, for the carnal reasoning of man can not produce godly man and womanhood.
The Scripture gives command for the headship of man over woman, and in particular terms this means husband over wife, father over daughter. In general terms it means that in all government, whether civil or religious is to be comprise of men who rule. Commandments pertaining to this issue are found throughout the Scriptures in one form or another, but please allow me to submit a few very pointed examples: Genesis 3:16, Duet. 22:5, 1 Cori. 11: 1-16, 1 Cor. 14:33-36, 1 Tim. 2: 8-15, 1 Peter 3:1-7. Most of these Scriptures that I have listed are what I will refer to as encapsulations of truth that the original authors had gathered from their study and obedience to the Mosaic law, and ancient Jewish prophets, then condensing that understanding into brief exhortations, (commandments) the which they offered to the New Testament Church. We could form a writing based on an exhaustive analysis of the Law and prophets and point by point come to the same conclusion, but there is absolutely no need for that, since the New Testament Apostles did this for us. Our lot is to obey these commandments and to enjoy the fruit of that obedience. And if we will not give ourselves to the obedience of these and other commandments of the Lord, then we shall certain “eat” the fruit of our unbelief and disobedience. Such fruit fills our American society, and could never exist among an obedient-godly people. A sampling of the fruit of disobedience to God's laws, and the laws of headship imparticular is:
- Somewhere near 70% divorce rate for first time marriages, not to speak of people who have been married numerous times
- Over 40 million “legal” abortions
- Teenage fornication where 8 of 10 teens now testify that they fornicate
- Search engines that can boast 997,000 pornographic sites ( I have seen this with my own eyes)
The headship of men over women, and again in particular terms the husband over the wife, and the father over his household, which includes his daughters is rightly expressed in the picture of our human body. Every properly formed body has two hands. They are equal, but opposite. All people are meant to have both a left and a right hand. Headship is that way. It is comprised of two elements that are equal but opposite, they are: authority and responsibility. By means of the women's suffrage movement of a century ago (which brought to pass the passing of the 20th amendment to the US constitution which gave American women the right to vote) we began to accept a doctrine of the devil which has worked to sow confusion and numerous evil works into our American families, and to our American culture at large. The ratification of this law stated that men and women are equal in terms of headship. In short, Papa (the male head) can not, and will not play the part of the man if head ship is taken from him. The reason for the authority of headship is so that he can fulfill the responsibility of manhood toward all of society, but especially in regards to his wife and children, and other extended family members. To take away his authority is to take away both his heart and his ability to be fully responsible. So in a nutshell, it works this way. A man will not fight for what is not his own. A wife that stands contrary to him, is in all affects not his own, her rebellion is equal to unfaithfulness, being adulterous in nature, so why should he care? Why should he pay the price to fulfill manhood to nurture, protect, provide for, lead, intercede in prayer for a woman, if she will not give herself to follow him? I realize this may sound harsh, but I'm telling you life works this way. Understand this, a man's world if filled with struggle. He fights (struggles) to overcome the passions that are inherent within his own person to maintain godliness and be steady and faithful. He fights the elements to go and do whatever kind of work he does, he has to compete with others in the work a day world, which struggle must be maintained as a friendly and gracious contest, but none the less it is a constant contest that he must endure all his life. He fights to overcome his own self centered laziness to rise up and lead and nurture his family and others. The last thing a man needs, (or wants) is to come home to civil war with his wife over who is to lead the family.
Ladies, may I submit to you some practical wisdom that will gain you great advantage in dealing with a man. Remember that the man was made firstly in the image of God Himself, and was created to be a natural living illustration of God. Whereas you as a woman was created by God to be a natural living illustration of the Church of God. NEVER, and again I say never, allow yourself to think of a man as if he is like you. For he is not, and you do not want him to be.
Point number one:
The way to victory in getting what you want with a man is by means of surrender. Even as the way of victory for the believer in obtaining from Christ what the believer desires is the way of surrender. I'm telling you, that is how it works. Any other means, be it force, nagging, manipulation, trickery, or anything else will back fire on you and cause disruption. As a part of this practice learn to cultivate a spirit of quietness. Do not be deceived into thinking that this will make you into a doormat. It is those in life who possess the quietness of a meek spirit that in the end are the true overcomers. For the meek shall inherit the earth. We have Jesus promise of this.
Point number two:
Do everything you can to maximize your femininity. Be a woman! Do everything to maximize your husband's masculinity. Never do anything to minimize his place as head thinking that in minimizing his masculinity you can gain control, and thus have your way. For you may gain control to accomplish whatever it is that you want, but you will loose out big-time in other ways.
As a part of point number two:
Obey the commandment of the Lord found in Deuteronomy 22:5 that states that a man and a woman must dress distinctfully differently, the one from the other. In modern western terms this simply means that a woman wears a dress and a man wears pants. Never, and again I say never forsake this truth. When by a pure heart a woman conducting herself in quietness of spirit begins to adorn herself completely differently then what a man would, thus by this action maximizing her femininity (womanhood), then I believe I can promise you that her husband, if he has the least spark of godly manhood will be affected to begin to rise up and play the part of a man, and begin to put away the foolish and irresponsible games that he plays in his life. Beyond that dear woman, you will in lesser ways have similar affect on men in general. For even the most ignorant of men are not blind, and they notice when a woman conducts herself in quietness of spirit adorning herself in a modest and feminine manner. You will find men will address you with greater tenderness, they will more readily open doors for you, ask if you need a hand with this or that, they wills speak to you in more gentle and respectful terms, in short do numerous acts of chivalry toward you without any provocation on your part other then how you dress yourself and the quiet spirit you handle yourself with. I have heard women in their simplicity exclaim, “It should never matter how I dress, a man should always treat a woman with respect and gentleness.” I suppose I agree with that statement, but none the less it is not how it works. Whether you or I think this is right or not is quite beside the point, but what I am telling you is that it is how it works. A man will go out of his way to show chivalry (defined as courtesy toward a woman) many times over if she is dressed in an attractive, modest dress versus pants, (especially if she is dressed in drudgy pants, and looks like a construction worker). Whether you like it or not, wish to admit it or not, open your eyes and look around and you'll see what I say is completely true. There is something in a man that responds to femininity. Whereas a woman that has the look and sound of a man may not be openly rebuked or completely shamed, but she will not be not be received and treated with the honor, (courtesy) given to the woman who is maximizing her womanhood.
As a part of point number two:
Women who cut their hair short stand in violation of natural and Scriptural laws, and in so doing are discarding their femininity. The long hair of a woman is a God given natural “covering”. It is by nature meant as a symbol that the woman is under the covering of male headship. When a woman in her ignorance or rebellion of this truth cuts her hair short she is by action saying that she can operate as a man, in effect, that she does not need a man. Further, I will remind all that the importance of the keeping of this truth is so great that the Apostle Paul taught in the churches that a woman must never pray or prophesy in public without an addition to the covering that her hair provides, that a head-covering of fabric must also be worn when a woman in public speaks of God, or prays. This practice states opening to all that she is a godly woman who recognizes that she is to be under male headship. Now, as in the case of the woman who again, whether in ignorance or rebellion to the truth cuts her hair short you will find that men will not show her chivalry. (both honor and courtesy) to the extent that they will women who by reason of understanding and obedience adorn themselves with longer, well kept hair. Why is this? It is not complicated. The maleness in a man responds to the femininity that she shows, and honors it. It is that simple. When a woman looks like a man she will be treated by men similar to how a man would treat another man, and that is with indifference. But if you as a woman appreciate something more than indifference from the male of society, then the actions of maximizing your femininity as shown in the obedience to God's commandments will bring that chivalry you desire to pass.
In conclusion
I again encourage all women everywhere that the way of victory in obtaining from your male head what you want is the way of surrender. Do everything to maximize his manhood (even if the man is a weeny in a hundred ways, you have to start somewhere). Do everything to maximize your own femininity, (womanhood). This means in word, in tone, in manner of speaking, in dress, in the bedroom, in the modesty of your clothing, in quietness of speech. If you will by faith persevere in this, you will find that the spirit of your life and your actions will provoke not only your man, but men in general as they may have contact with your life, to treat you with greater courtesy, respect, and gentleness.
A Watchman,
Gregory DeHart
Consider: 1 Corinthians 11:1-16, Genesis 1:26-28, Genesis 2:7-25, Genesis 3:16, Eph. 5:22-32, 1 Tim. 2:8-15, 1 Peter 3:1-7, Duet. 22:5, 1 Cor. 14:33-36,
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