Marriage, Headship, And Definition Given To The Woman's Calling—A Biblical Perspective

And whatsoever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. (Colossians 3:17) Through the wisdom of this admonition Christian husbands and wives can gain a very great volume of exceedingly important truth that is applicable to everyday married life. This is possible because we have learned that God in His wisdom created the marriage relationship to irror the relationship of Christ and the Church. (which also includes the individual believer) Therefore the admonition and wisdom of the Scripture that is spoken in respect to the church can be taken as wisdom that will relate to a wife. Scriptures that are spoken in reference to Christ can be viewed in respect to a husband. For the husband mirrors Christ, the wife mirrors the Church. (individual believer) Therefore, when the believer is commanded to do all things in the name of Jesus, the mirrored wisdom of that is that a wife is commanded to do all things in the name of her husband. Even as it has been said from the beginning, that she was created as a help mate, (an appropriate helper) to her husband.

The application of the wisdom of this truth can be fitted into any situation and will give clear guidance as to the attitude and behavior pattern of any wife. In a generation where the hearts of godly women are crying out to understand the parameters of godly womanhood, this wisdom will stand as a monumental aide. For in short it can be put this way. As the believer behaves before the Lord Jesus, so the wife behaves before her husband.

Let's Examine The Functionality Of The Relationship Of Christ And The Believer

Christ is in Heaven. He is not bodily upon the earth, but rather by the Holy Spirit Christ rules in the hearts of His own. He is not present to moment by moment be at the side of any believer to dictate to him or her the every move they should make. Rather, the believer, possessing the Holy Spirit by means of God's promises, God's commandments, and the exhortations of the prophets and apostles finds his way in the world. We refer to this as being led of the Spirit. The believer is a free individual who is under the government of the Lord Jesus, and from his or her heart both wishes and presses to do the will of the Lord Jesus, acting according to the understand and conviction of heart that he or she possesses. In short the believer is as a steward. Being under commission of the Lord, but free to work out the details of his life according to his own understand and choice in so much as he does it within the guidelines (parameters) of the Lord's word. Therefore the believer is seen among men as possessing his own sovereignty (for other men can not see the dictation of the Lord's Spirit in that person's heart) but in truth the believer is not sovereign unto himself, (in a position to do as he pleases) but in his or her heart is completely subject to the Lord Jesus.

So Is The Way Of A Wife

The calling of a wife was instituted by God to be a reflection of the calling of the believer. The wife is meant to operate under the calling and government of her husband, but within those parameters is meant by God to be free to live out and express her individual person and gifts. Even as when an unsaved person comes to the salvation of Jesus, that does not mean that that person quites being who he is, but rather that the person changes the dedication of his life from self centered to God centered. The now saved person still has personal likes and dislikes, personal abilities, and gifts, and objectives in life. Although the personal attributes will be influenced by the salvation experience, the new believer certainly will not discontinue being who his basic person is because he has become a Christian. Even so the life of a wife is her's to live, but to please God and be the reflection of a believer as she is meant to be she must forsake a self centered focus in life and take on a life focus that is in line with her husband and his purpose and calling in life. For she is his helpmate. The mate made to particularly be a fitting aide him in life.




In the early part of the last century there was a movement a foot in America called The Woman's Suffrage Movement. It was a humanistic (man centered, versus God centered) attempt to answer the reality that many men in society behaved toward women in a self centered, oppressive, and domineering manner. Men who being in the place (and rightly so) of headship over the woman, or women of their households operated outside the spirit of Christ, and in this self centered mode of the operation of their headship oppressed the female members of their family. Please note, I am not saying for a moment that male headship is not right, in fact male headship is completely right, but it must function in the spirit of Christ. Because of the woman suffrage movement the 19th amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed which gave the legal right of equal headship to the female citizens of the United States. This being shown in that, any adult female now has the right to vote in a civil election. The passing of the the 19th constitutional amendment proved to be a beginning point of a long line of deteriorations in American society, both in the civil and religious community, and have served to create great confusion and disruption in family life, in that it by decree effectively flip-flopped the God given order of the family.

• The extreme multiplication of the practice of cross dressing as demonstrated in the greater portion of all women in America dressing in pants as would a man. (Deuteronomy 22:5) The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are an abomination to the Lord thy God.



• The practice of no fault divorce and divorce in general, which is nearly 70% of first time marriages.



• The fact that approximately 50% of all American young people now live together outside of the marriage covenant.



• The practice of using birth control to size down the family, rather then inviting children as a blessing from God and a way to increase His kingdom. The practice of which in my mind embodies the spirit of abortion.



• The exceeding increase in marital unfaithfulness and pornography. These vices have very directly been empowered by the woman's suffrage movement and the introduction of the 19th amendment which have worked to demasculinize men. Head ship and responsibility go hand in hand, so when we as a nation took away the legal right for a man to exercise headship many men simply quite endeavoring to fulfill their role as responsible husbands and fathers and began to play. By play, I mean they simply checked out from bearing the weight of responsibility of manhood, and on a larger and larger scale simply surrenders themselves to whatever pleasure came along. This has been in many ways the picture of the American male, increasingly so, since the passing of the 19th amendment.



• Women leaving the home to pursue careers to the neglect, or even the destruction of the family unit.



• The elderly leaving the family unit to live in government housing.

These vices and more have sprung forth from, or were strengthened by the introduction of the 19th amendment, in that it served to demasculinization the male person, causing confusion in reference to the God given order of authority in the home. Again, the 19th amendment was a humanistic endeavor to answer a spiritual problem. The problem being that males neglected to seek the Lord to operate their headship over women in a Christ like manner, but for the woman to usurp his headship and calling by means of civil law or any other way was then, and still is now an ungodly action. The answer that allows the total expression of a woman's life is for men in general to operate headship over women in general as Christ does over the Church, and husbands and fathers in particular terms to operate headship over their households even as Christ does over His own household.

The question of the equality of the sexes has been asked and fought over by many. The answer to this question is yes, they are equal, and no, they are not equal. In reference to worth before the Creator the sexes are completely equal. The Mighty One did not make one portion of His creation with more worth than another portion. In reference to what is in the heart beat of men I will tell you that a man with any appreciable spark of manhood views the worth of women, and their children as superior to his own life. That is answered in the willingness that men have shown down through the ages to fight and die for the sake of women and their children. Most men do not go to war for their own sake, but for the benefit of those they love. That is just flat a reality. In reference to headship, the answer is No. Men and women are not equal. They were created unequal. The male was created to be in headship over women, and in that position to be the greater servant in the relationship. Please consider with me this question. Is the believer equal to Christ? I would answer that question this way. In reference to worth Christ obviously thought that the lives of believers were more important than His own, for while we were yet sinners and His enemy, Christ died for us. In this action Christ showed that He considered our worth greater than His own. Yet, in reference to headship He is appointed Lord over all. We who are His share in His government, but He alone is appointed Lord of the nations.


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Some Of The Most Basic Parameters Of God's Law And Wisdom That Women Must Operate Within

The question has been asked in one form or another countless times, “What is the role and calling of a woman, what, or what can she not do in a man's world?” (I say a man's world, in that the Creator put men in charge, and commissioned womankind to aide him in this charge. But that does not mean that she has no part or right in life. But her part and rights must be realized within the parameters of who and what she was created to be, and to express in life.) To ask what the woman's place and calling is, is a very good question. For in seeking to answer that question you will at the same time answer questions pertaining to the dynamics of the believers calling in the Lord. I believe this question is answered very affectively by the principle of what we have been discussing. She is welcome to do anything that they (her male head and herself) would choose to do that does not stand in violation of certain basic laws that pertain to family life, marriage and motherhood. Even as a believer is free in life to pursue whatever direction he may wish to, in so much that his actions are not contrary to God's laws, or the particular conviction of the Holy Spirit to his life.

• She must act in obedience to her husband. (Titus 2:3-5) The obedience of a wife to her husband is the picture of the obedience of the believer to the Lord.



• She can not be in a place of teaching the basic dictates of life and godliness to men, or the usurping of authority of men in general, or her immediate male headship. Why? This action expresses the picture of a believer teaching the Lord Jesus, and the believer ruling his own life, rather then submitting to the ruler ship of the Lord Jesus. This picture must never be! It expresses an ungodly and slanderous picture.



• If she is a married woman her duty before God and a husband is to bear children and guide the home. Therefore, it has very high priority. This wisdom can be drawn from the Scripture from the beginning of it to the end of it, but is encapsulated in a single Scripture penned by the Apostle Paul of the first century Church. (1 Timothy 5:14) I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house..... . As long as this priority is fulfilled then the woman is free to do whatever she'd like with her time and energies.

My experience is that a godly man is very pleased to see the women of his house function to the full extent of their abilities and desires, in so much as they are within the parameters of their God given calling. Just like Christ is very glad to see any believer functioning to the full extent of his or her abilities, in so much as they do so with in compliance to God's word.

So Dear Woman, what ever you do, ask yourself, “Do I do this in the name of my husband? Is this action, or proposed action within the confines of what I know to be what he wants done? Is it after the spirit of of my husband's character, and objectives?” If you study your husband as a believer ought to study the Lord Jesus, then you will learn what his heart beat is. You will learn what pleases him and what does not please him. You will learn what it is that God has put into his heart to do and to speak in life, and in so doing enable yourself to very effectively operate with great independence. For in most all cases the man who has a faithful wife is in no hurry to “pour water on the fire” of her personal expression and abilities. For doing that adds nothing to him. For in truth he needs her help in life, plus he enjoys seeing her fulfilled in what she wants to do. For the life of a wife is as a flowering plant. It is most beautiful when its in full bloom, and in such a case offers the promise of being much more fruitful. For a man is very much a simpleton that does not figure out the basic reality that when a woman in his household is unhappy it negatively affects everyone. But, when she is contented and happy, life is better for everyone in the family. Carefully consider the Proverbs 31 woman. She is a good example of a very industrious and fruitful life, but a life under authority.